One might imagine that in days long past, when a “man’s” job consisted of capturing the evening meal in the wild or gathering the fruits and nuts, flirting was not a necessity. He wanted a mate; he took one. If she was not interested, he used the club method. No, not night on the town “Club”, rather tap on the head “Club”.
When you were a pre-teenager, hormones just beginning to awake, you threw a rock at a girl on the playground. For some reason, that girl always stirred an emotion in you. You didn’t understand what you were feeling, but you knew that you had to let her know she was causing you a bother. So, you threw the rock.
Perhaps, as a young girl, you oft times punched a particular boy, or called him silly, or stupid. You may have been trying to gain his attention, in the only way you knew how.
Both just made their first attempt at flirtation. They were showing their attraction through outward actions, conversation, or body language. This was perhaps the first attempt at double entendres, doing or saying something that had two meanings.
In the same vein, a male or female exotic dancer depends on 2 things to make a living. The first is outward physical appearance; the second is the ability to flirt. Since each person has a different view of beauty, the dancer who flirts well can gain the attention over the one that just stands, waiting for the patron to approach. The dancer must make the customer believe that they only have eyes for the one patron, while not doing it in an outward manner, such that the other patrons will lose interest.
Now that I have given you two extremes of flirtation, I will go through the reasons we flirt and what we hope to accomplish with flirtation. Most of us will not fit into either category mentioned above. I will address why we flirt and how we choose the method, based on a few signs. I will also delve into when to flirt and when never to flirt. We should also look into what to do if a flirtation is declined, or as sometimes happens, misread. One important item we should discuss is how to know when you are receiving a flirtation.
Tied to the when to flirt, is the where to flirt, both in the real world and online. I will find the places where flirting is most prolific and most importantly, where flirtation is most acceptable. Of course this is a local column, so I will stay in the Houston area. Suggestions are very welcome. I will also talk with local restaurants, florists, clothiers and romantic retreats. These establishments could help you in the art of flirtation, or could be the reward if the flirtation is warmly accepted.
Resources you may like:
Nonverbal Courtship Patterns In Women: Context and Consequences
Psychology Today – Flirting Fascination