Well, Gainesville fans, if you have spawn (or simply consider yourself a full-grown child), do not fear: the kids’ flicks are here! And if the past ten years are any indication, they’re here to stay.
- Harry Potter, 2001 – present: The birth of a multi-million [billion?] dollar franchise.
- The Golden Compass, 2007: This first book of the popular sci-fi trilogy featured talking animals, alternate worlds, and a mystical element known simply as “dust.” Unfortunately, even the author’s dream cast could do little to keep this movie afloat. Watch at your peril.
- The Chronicles of Narnia, 2005 – 2008: Cute. But then again, no one expected anything more.
- Twilight, 2008: This novel and its subsequent film single-handedly spawned the new genre known as “YA”, or “young adult. The sexual objectification of almost every male character also made feminists everywhere cheer for joy.
- Inkheart, 2008: Who would say that this movie was one of Brendan Frasier’s “forgettables?” Seriously, look at that screenshot!
- Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, 2010: We’ll see if it warrants a sequel.
- Alice in Wonderland, 2010: Again, Tim Burton + Johnny Depp. What’s not to like? Oh, let me tell you…
- Diary of a Wimpy Kid, 2010: It’s sure to bring at least a few laughs. Right? [crickets…]
- The Hunger Games, 2011: The book was phenomenal so, more than likely, this movie will make the audience cringe. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully not.
- Incarceron, 2013: A prison develops a mind of its own. Skynet, anyone?
The two local theaters in Gainesville – Archer and Newberry – are currently showing Percy Jackson, Alice in Wonderland [3-D], and the new-in-town Diary of a Wimpy Kid. By the way, if you caught yourself actually enjoying Percy and his crew, you ought to think about giving the up-coming remake Clash of the Titans a fair shot. Hey, if you can sit through Pierce Brosnan with hooves, you can survive Sam Worthington in leather.
Photo: New Line Cinema, 2008.