Even in the gritty heart of New York City’s Port Authority, a public declaration of love brought joy to the hearts of local transit users and Port Authority employees who facilitated a surprise proposal on a NJ Transit bus.
Adam Frohlinger opted to ask Leora Feigenbaum to marry him on the bus because he believed it was the last place she would expect a proposal. With the assistance of transit officials, he decorated the back of the bus and waited while Leora was escorted to the front of the commuter line by a Port Authority employee. Adam was right; she was surprised, she accepted his offer of marriage, and the couple is planning an August wedding. Congrats, kids! May your transfer to married bliss be without roadblocks, accidents, or excessive tolls.
I’m all for public proposals (when they go well, of course.) They are wonderful things to witness and, if well-planned, only minimal hassle is inflicted on those nearby. A public proposal is a gesture of hope, something rare and bright in our hectic world. It can be a pleasant reminder to listen to one’s heart and ponder why love is important. The benefit is usually worth a little inconvenience.
The same cannot be said for other public demonstrations of married couples, such as those detailed in last week’s NYT article about spouses fighting on Facebook. Though some of the commenters argue that these disputes are tongue-in-cheek and everyone else is just too old and unhip to understand, such a dismissive “whatever” doesn’t cover the bases here.
As any perceptive adult knows, passive-aggressive behavior is frequently defended by claims of “just kidding around,” and the public nature of humiliation on Facebook–whether humorous or not–can make it much harder for partners to save face, forgive, and forget. Resentment and disrespect aren’t usually assets in a marriage, but I guess we’ll know for sure in another decade or so when someone publishes a credible study about Facebook users and divorce rates. And you know that’s coming.
Therefore, post this on the fridge please:
Note To Self:
Declarations of Love–Public; Disputes with Marriage Partner–Private.
We’ll all be happier that way.
Until next time, a sweet and long life to you all (and happy Spring!)
National Wedding and Marriage Examiner Elizabeth Oakes welcomes your feedback at firstname.lastname@example.org; please share this story or subscribe by clicking on the Tweet This! button at the top of this column or the “Share This!” button below, or read more of Elizabeth’s stories by clicking here.
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