Why do some relationships last and others fall apart? Why do some couples seem stressed and irritated with one another and others you wonder if they ever fight or even disagree with one another? Is there some sort of secret or workshop that is only open to a few? Do you have to spend hours a day working on every aspect of your love to make it a great lasting love?
Rests assure that there are no workshops you didn’t receive notice about. With as busy as the world and daily life and demands are at this point in time, no one has hours upon hours to work on their relationship. It is very simple to have a great relationship that others are envious of. Here is are four simple things that couples that describe themselves as happy do differently than those who say that their marriage is just alright.
Understand Each Other,and knowing Expectations each have for the other and relationship
Most relationships don’t break up because someone cheats. Most relationships do not begin to fall apart because couples do not talk or see one another. Unfortunately, most relationships dissipate because of frustrations that build up, having to do with the day to day disappointment one feels when their expectations for the relationship are not being met. Make sure that you discuss what you expect from your partner. It is silly not to, and if you don’t, you will end up in a so, so relationship or perhaps divorce court.
Take a Moment to Know One Another
Although a date night once a week is a great idea, sometimes it is not feasible with what we are responsible for in regards to children, work and bills. If you can t have a date night once a week, take 10-30 minutes each night to talk. These 10-30 minutes can not have anything to do with children, work, chores or bills. Small talk as insignificant as it may seam, is extremely important and keeps you learning and knowing things about one another. This can be a conversation as simple as you saying, I was talking to my sister today and we were remembering our summers in Dallas with our grandparents. Then explain your summers. If not something such as that perhaps bring up something that someone did that day that annoyed you, and have a discussion about pet peeves. This is very simple to do as well as very important in maintaining a great relationship.
Praise and Admire
It is very important to remind the one that we love that we love them and we are still attracted to them. More so than women, men tend to need this reassurance more often from their wives. This is because a woman received praise from a variety of outlets. Others will tell her things such as, you look great, you have such beautiful hair, that is such a great color on you etc. Men don’t hear these things from the outside world as often. So it is important for them to receive these compliments from their wives. If women do such things as compliment their men, they would be surprised that they will receive compliments in return.
See what is good, and focus on that
The common belief among couples is to work on fixing the bad in the relationship. Although bad does need to be discussed it should not remain the main focus. Rather, you should focus on the great and strive there. When we are always thinking of the negative we are going to end up bitter and resentful, and frustrated. As previously discussed-the frustrations within the relationship are sure to drive you apart. If you are married, there is a reason you decided to commit to that person, rediscover it and focus there. Keep in mind when trying to fix what is wrong, you need to back off and realize what is good for yourself but also make sure that your spouse knows what you feel it great about them and the relationship. You can not constantly bring up everything that makes you less than satisfied and expect the other person to sit quietly without feeling some emotional resentment and hurt from what you say. Don’t force them to pick up and leave, because everything that you say is negative. Focus on the positive and you will soon see that the more you do so, the less the bad plays apart in your overall happiness and love.
If you can not plan the future together, you are not in a good position in the relationship. People must be able to discuss and envision the future together for the relationship to last. This can be as simple as saying when we retire, wouldn’t it be nice to live in the Hill Country rather than San Antonio? Discuss your dream house and grandchildren running in the front yard of your dream spot. This is a brief yet realistic look into the future, and in looking into the future together, you are more likely to arrive in the future together.
Happy marriages are not made in heaven. They are not all that different from the ‘Alright Marriage’, all that they do is make a little effort to stay appealing, open and in love. Be happy, be happy together, be the couple that is truly happy and that people admire and strive to be like.