Being a younger sister can be a very difficult position! It may feel so unfair when an older sister gets to do things that you are not yet allowed to do.
“My older sister gets to do so much more than me, which I don’t think its fair! How can I feel happier with what I have?“
I think the first thing we need to establish is that your sister is not to blame for the privileges she gets for being older. One of the jobs of the parent is to decide if their child is ready for a certain activity or responsibility. This has nothing to do with their love for either of you. It has everything to do with their trying to make wise decisions about their child’s safety.
Don’t Blame Your Sister
So getting angry at your sister is not the best idea. Because she is older, she will be able to teach you a lot of things that will make your life easier. At the very least, you can learn by watching her. Ideally, she will be a friend of yours for the rest of your life.
The following are a list of some stress reducers when you find yourself feeling jealous and upset:
1. Politely ask your parents when they think you will be able to participate in the activity you are feeling jealous of. (This may reassure you that your time is coming soon, but just be careful not to nag them.)
2. Start a gratitude journal where you write down at least 5 wonderful things that happened in your day, each night before you go to sleep. (you could even share this with your parents if you wanted to!)
3. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are loved very much by your family, and that when your sister was your age, she had the same limitations that you do now.
4. Try to avoid comparing yourself to anyone, and live every moment of your life enjoying what you have.
If I were to fill a glass of water halfway, someone might tell me it is half empty. Someone else might say it is half full. The half full person is focusing on the positive. I suggest that you do too. Life definitely tends to be much more fun that way!!
Also, remember that younger sisters get cool perks that older sisters don’t have anymore! Maybe your mom does your laundry but thinks your older sister is old enough to do her own! Perk…for now! And remember that soon enough you’ll be old enough to get the privileges that your older sibling gets, so look forward to that.
Teen Therapist/Adolescent Phase of Life Coach
Los Angeles, Santa Monica, and Beverly Hills
tags: find a teen therapist, parenting teens, teen advice, teen depression, teen peer pressure, teen self esteem, teen support groups, teenagers problems