Yesterday, I either talked or I listened and it didn’t do the latter very well at all.
I am discovering that I am not a good listener. I have multitudes of “reasons” for why I am not in the upper echelon of listeners. I don’t have the time. I don’t have the patience. What’s said isn’t relevant. Who’s saying it is speaking out of their ass. There’s nothing I can do about it so why discuss what can’t be changed. All these “reasons” hold their own in the subconscious mind.
I sit in meetings and I find my mind wandering when those at the meeting can’t bring logical and thoughtful discussion to the group. I often wonder what is the point of a meeting if no one is willing to speak what is on their mind while utilizing logical thought processes when speaking. I sit in meetings and I wait for the nuggets of gold, the sparkling gems or words of wisdom and I often get tarnished and rusty pieces of blabber.
Doesn’t anyone want to actually “bring it” when they sit down at the table to converse? Doesn’t any one want to challenge the conventional wisdom? What happened to the glory in playing the Devil’s Advocate role? Who really enjoys being a mound of flesh sitting at the table and listening to others drone on while ideas are locked up tight inside the mind?
I know I have a listening problem. I know I have a concentration problem. I know I lack focus. But if you engage me, really engage me, in some meaningful dialogue, I will commit to engaging you back.
I’m tired of all the one way roads leading to the same old places. I’m tired of robotic speeches that dampen the spirit of the moment. I’m tired of waiting for those surrounding me to show their passion with the spoken work.
Maybe it’s all me. Maybe I’m the one that needs to change. Maybe I’ve misconstrued their tone, their enthusiasm, their willingness to express themselves in something beyond two dimension. If I’ve committed such “crimes” against others, and I’m sure have at one time or another, I will need to wrap myself around the idea of wholesale change. But it’s not going to be easy to accept the mediocre … Not for me.