StarCraft II is coming. You know it’s coming and you want it. The excitement keeps building. All slinky and seductive, Blizzard keeps tempting you. She whispered in your ear, a soft, sultry voice. “You can enjoy me in beta,” she said. “I might choose you.”
You remember how excited you got, how much you wanted her? But sweet, lovely Blizzard stopped you at the bedroom door, didn’t she? Uh uh, she said. Not yet. And she sent you home.
Did you go to sleep frustrated?
Blizzard isn’t committing to a release date. Not yet. She’s not ready for a commitment. Don’t push her, okay? It’s not good for the relationship. She’s working on it. It’s almost here. She’s almost ready for you. For ten years she’s been working on it. You can’t hurry perfection.
Are you quietly e-stalking her, now? Have you subscribed to her Twitter feed and friended her on Facebook? You’re just friends, now, right? You just want to keep up on how she’s doing. Hey, what’s wrong with that?
If you have, you know she’s at it, again. She’s making eyes at you. She’s posting those pictures, those sweet, sexy pictures of her in that seductive collector’s edition outfit. Who does that if they’re not ready to take the relationship to a more intimate level?
Did you see that outfit? That slinky art book. The ultra-sultry soundtrack to get you in the mood. A behind-the-scene DVD. Those dogs tags that hang down between her luscious, round… Sigh.
Let’s hope it’s for real, this time. If she’s going to keep fluffing you, she ought to at least give you a moneyshot.
(Rumors are the little vixen StarCraft II will be appearing at DC area GameStops and Best Buys by the end of the year. So she says.)
GameStops in the DC area.