Project Airing Dirty Laundry…
I’m really good at being single. Maybe, I should rephrase. I’m really good at just being by myself. Even in a relationship, there are times when I need a moment or two, actually more hours at a time that are all mine. Doesn’t everyone?
While I don’t feel punished for being single, I have felt ostracized or at the very least judged by people wondering one, why I’m single and two, why I don’t do something about it.
And how do you answer questions like that? It’s the Catch-22 of being single. If you say you like being single, you are given pitiful looks from people who don’t believe you, as it is the underlying understanding that coupled is what the end goal is supposed to be. But if you complain about being single, you’re the bitter, desperate girl that no one wants to date anyway. Sigh.
So what have I been doing wrong in embracing my single status? And how can I feel less stuck?
I care too much about what people think.
Fixing this problem is a little like defending being single itself. There’s a line between caring what people think and letting it be the factor that makes decisions for you. And in defending singledom, it’s the line between being defensive and being okay with a decision that is yours alone to make. Bottom line: I need to make choices that are best for me. And quit worrying. Period.
It’s not that I don’t want to be in a relationship, it’s just that…
There are different formulas for different relationships in my life. All are based on: love, respect, and just plain fun, three main factors that I would be looking for in a romantic relationship as well. Most of the people in my life embody these qualities already, so I don’t feel as though something is missing. For me, there’s a difference between wanting a relationship and wanting to be in love.
The crossover from what you’re taught as a single.
When you’re single, the emphasis is placed on doing what makes you happy and frankly speaking, being somewhat selfish. There are compromises in a relationship that obviously don’t manifest when you’re single, because there are certain ‘roles’ and expectations that are assumed once part of a couple. I think there will come a time (and person) that will reveal to me compromising won’t mean compromising myself. (More on the ‘roles’ of men and women in an upcoming article)
By understanding the above, I will learn to gain my life’s balance. That way when the right person does come along to ‘unbalance’ it, it won’t seem like a problem but really the answer I was looking for all along.
The Dirty Laundry list continues…next up: Item #3 – I am too ____________.
Hate being single in Kansas City? Why? There’s so much fun to be had! Here are some things to get you started…
Attend a play. The Kansas City Repertory Theatre is showing Broke-ology through March 21st. Beautiful venue. Excellent performance.
Go to a concert. Visit the Sprint Center Box Office for upcoming concerts. Next on my list, Black Eyed Peas!
Eat a cupcake. Really, sometimes it is the small things in life. Cupcake A La Mode and Smallcakes both have newly added locations.
Get in on some sports action. It’s March Madness plus we’re on the brink of Royals Home Opener. Get thee to a bar, sports party, or stadium asap.
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